Thanks Steve...

Stay Creative (or in my case: Just Be)

Let’s all follow these guidelines for living….

”I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy."

"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Black Holes and Revelations

(Post title which btw, is an awesome album)

Of all the uninspired moments in my limited blogging history — all of the directionless days gone by, the mind games searching for stimuli, the fruitless quest for insight and imagination — these last few months, void of interesting written rambles, might be the most anti-climatic.

So what inspires you?

Sometimes I forget. I mean, it’s been months since my last proper post. Not because of a lack of desideration for creating readable composition, but because it feels like I’ve forgotten how to glean any originality out of the everyday. Forgotten how to be inspired in these moments marred by instant messaging and instant attitudes. Searching for those cycles of cathartic insight have instead been replaced by clichéd rhetoric.

The reviews are in.

"Frustrating," is my lack of reverie.

"Disappointing," is the effort.

"Disheartening," is my feeling.

It is all of the above and I wonder what it means. I don’t mean to intentionally lose sight of what my passion is or what my why is. But instead of engrossing in the tasks at hand, I get distracted. Too easily I become disconnected. Diversion and I have married together like brats and beer. Suddenly I’m built for beguilement like a Maserati is built for speed and a La-Z-Boy is built for comfort. I’m getting caught in the web of the internet. I’m watching TV shows online. I’m wrapped up in facebook feeds and twitter tales. I’m reading blogs and opening links and reading more about people and places. Time disappears. And as sudden as it is expected, I’m not working on projects – I have forgotten them.

But here’s the thing that oftentimes escape me, it’s amidst these diversions where I most easily forget that there are also stories out there that can pique our imagination. I forget that in reading twitter and facebook updates, watching shows online, opening links and reading more about more people, the more I learn about what inspires me. I forget that there is more to my distractions than the distraction itself. The journey is as significant as the destination.

Cutting through the diversity and abundance of the internet, there are anecdotes and narratives that do remind me of our capacity to inspire or be inspired. The diversions of the web allow me to see the best and worst of mankind. I read stories that anger me and stories that motivate me. I learn about danger. I learn about courage. I begin seeing the world in views that are not my own. All of these distractions can be as trendy as it is trite or as dazzling as it is disorganized. But we live in an era of 24 hour news cycles. This is the time of instantaneous information and split-second scandals. Old school in this generation is November. And by indulging in all of these disruptions I am allowing it to stir up thoughts and ideas and emotions that ultimately guide the direction that I am creating.

In life, we’re always looking for those moments of Zen or prolific epiphanies. And as I’ve discovered the last few months, the pursuit is fleeting and elusive. And even though this short blog is not enough to draw any meaningful conclusions about the dynamics of this dilemma, I finally appreciate just having an opportunity to be present and grateful in each moment, which in the past, normally loses out to my daily consciousness of convention and routine. I am no expert. I am still very much a student in all of the above and I too need reminding often. But this time instead, I'll try to remember to allow my distractions to inspire rather than discourage me.


"The time you enjoy wasting, is not wasted time." 
- Bertrand Russell

                                                                                                                    - Dr. Brene Brown

A gift 365-days-a-year

"Aren't sports great?"

We met for lunch on a Whyte ave coffee shop. Two guys in their late-twenties, one a former amateur athlete and one just a wannabe. We met for lunch and we end up talking almost until dinner. Two quarter-aged sports fans fortunate enough to have a passion for the games.

And despite all the recent happenings in the world, the massive turnout of Jon Stewart’s sanity rally; U.S. midterm campaigners benefiting from a hurricane of tea party donations; and the horror of Haiti who’s suffering from cholera infested waters and actual hurricanes; here were two guys talking sports. And talking sports and talking sports, past lunch and through enough coffee and caffeine to float our dreams to the next Stanley Cup, and correspondingly, the nearest restroom.

We covered the grid-iron to the hardwood, from hockey’s legends to baseball’s laughingstocks. On paper napkins we drew up our all-time all-star teams and swapped stories and rumors about the athletes we’ve known.

I've always felt a bit sorry for people who don't know what sports fans know, who don't find a kind of enduring pleasure and passion from the games, who don't experience that sweet anticipation of game day. Sports are as loyal as the family dog. The games are there for you almost every day — even Christmas. They are the gifts that keep on giving. Sure, there are problems. Tickets that are priced too high for the real fans, franchises that are foundering in every league, college athletes who rarely see the inside of a classroom, and steroids that are plentiful as M&M's.

But the games still transcend the troubles.

"Aren't sports great?" my buddy says as we remember how bad we felt when the 2007 Raptors grabbed 3^rd seed and swooned in the first round against New Jersey. We remembered the Eskimos’ 1996 Snow Bowl heart-breaker courtesy of the Argonauts as if it were played last weekend. The erroneous snap over Doug Flutie’s head. Leroy Blue’s tackle for the safety. And subsequently, downtown Eddie Brown’s improbable 64-yard catch off his feet into the end zone.

We debated who should have been the coach of the century, Scotty Bowman or the recently departed Pat Burns. We talked from Tracy McGrady to track and field, from golfing greats to Gabrielle Reece, from Mike Holmgren to Mo Cheeks, from Sean Avery to Shooter McGavin, we luxuriated in sports talk.

"Aren't sports great?"

The Oilers gave Edmonton the most surprising and delicious three months in the city's sports history in 2006. And now fans warm themselves every winter with the anticipation of another Oilers run in the spring.

They wait to see Jordan Eberle’s next toe-drag back hand. They wonder how much Nikolai Khabibulin has left. Is Linus Omark ready to explode onto the scene? Can Shawn Horcoff regain his 2008 form? How many points will Taylor Hall score?

Sports transcend tragedy. Even after the events of September 11, when sports suddenly seem as significant as a sitcom, I remember everyone in this country affected by every death in that attack. The pictures of what we saw were incomprehensible. The level of planning and sophistication of the terrorist attacks was sobering as it was frightening. Nobody knew what the proper amount of time was to mourn, to protect our safety, to begin to return to normal. We didn’t know how long it would be before we felt comfortable again, on an airplane, or in a stadium, or on a crowded street corner. But we all knew life must continue. And I know sports helped us deal with all of that tragedy in an escapist way.

We were anticipating Barry Bonds' next at-bat; the upcoming winter olympics in Salt Lake city; the unknown draftee that was Ales Hemsky, and the imminent return to the NBA of Michael Jordan.

Like the rhythm of a heartbeat, the games go on.

Look what we have waiting for us in just the next few days.

Can the Oilers sustain this unexpected 4 game winning streak that has the whole city buzzing with thoughts of another magical April? Will the Eskimos rebound from the loss of its coach and do what they haven’t done in years and reward the city a playoff worthy of its legacy? The intriguing make-shift Toronto Raptors are playing tomorrow in the historic Madison Square Garden and Andrea Bargnani might be playing the best basketball of his career while Jose Calderon has gone back in time playing in 2007-08 form.

"Aren't sports great?"

Is there a better feeling than swishing a long jump shot? Or smoking a drive down the center of the fairway? Or crossing the finish line at the end of a 10K run, or a half-marathon, or a marathon? Where else but a hockey rink can you share such unambiguous joy, or such profound disappointment with 20,000 like-minded people?

We passed four hours that felt like four minutes. A couple of quarter-aged guys, lucky enough to be sports fans.


QOTD: "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with - choose wisely."

Quit movin' it

Finding perspective

A friend of mine came back from a funeral recently. Her friend had died of cancer at the age of only 27. There is never the right amount of words to explain the level of grief and sorrow people feel when they lose a friend or loved one. But I know, for the rest of us who feel helpless in trying to soothe their sadness, words are all we have. Praise is all we can give, memories are our only gifts. And attempting to wrap our heads around and make sense out of something as senseless as cancer is impossible. But whatever solace we’re able take from a disease so insidiously evil can be as enriching as it is all-consuming.

My friend told me that even despite how sad and beautiful the service was it reminded her how much her own problems are put into perspective. Immediately thoughts of family are top of mind. Right away friends and loved ones are due for phone calls. Credit card bills and unattended laundries suddenly seem banal – The real world instantly intruding our immaterial one.

It's these poignant reminders that I'm grateful for; these much needed wake-up calls. I'm reminded that the casualty of our habitual routines is forgetting the simple things of substance. Perspective becomes as elusive as a leaf in the wind. It gets lost in the anger over a loitering car in rush hour. It disappears in the pain of a crashed computer, a stood-up date, or a missed field goal late in a close game. Work is important. It is our livelihood. But the wins and losses we experience in our everyday jobs are ephemeral. They have the staying power of foam. Family matters most.

When a friend or loved one dies, there are so many regrets on so many levels. I know I don’t have the answers to all the questions in my life, and every time I think I get it, all of my insight seems to get scattered as if it were blown by a stiff breeze. But I try to remember we keep moving forward. Still laughing when we can. Still surrounding ourselves with everything that’s important to us. And I remember that the best gifts I’ve ever received are my friends and family; and knowing them has been as instructive and enriching as any experience in my life.

QOTD: “Life is sweet and delicious, but like cotton candy, it doesn’t last long so enjoy every bite”.

Peace and love,
ot

Transition time? maybe?? I dunno...

Every few years it seems the dynamics of my social circle and personal life starts to change. It's starting to happen again. And not only that but change, regardless how small and insignificant, somehow always spawns a whole about-face of new adjustments and transitions completely unrelated. w.t.f.? For better or worse I've realized it's probably the unavoidable reality of growing of not just myself but everyone around me. Life is happening. And selfishly I often wish that everything and everyone would just stay the same, only accepting transition on MY timetable. The universe did not get the memo.

So here I sit on this surprisingly warm September evening with what seems to be an inexplicable and irrational cloud over me. Yet despite its irrationality I rationalize it away. In the midst of madness I find myself suspiciously calm; Like everything is going accordingly. And at the same time, I feel like I am observing myself, while seeking affirmations from the sky asking that this is supposed to happen right?

right.

New changes "to" me are the best things "for" me right?

of course. see the big picture.

And somewhere in the confusion I feel confident the universe does know what its doing. Undeterred by my well planned timetable, the universe has made plans of its own exclusively for each one of us.

I know I get stuck in my head sometimes where problems and obstacles turn into impossible feats. It's so easy to put up walls and reside within, surrounded with all your thoughts, worries and fears. It's there where I haphazardly make up wrongs for myself. I make myself wrong for some of the following:

- For not spending enough time with family
- For procrastinating simple tasks
- For drinking too much coffee
- For being quiet
- For not being insightful
- For spending too much time online
- For being boring
- For taking my time

But I have to remember what I make up are roadblocks. I make up restraints. You know, all these things we make ourselves wrong for are solely fueled by our own mind anyway.


It's time I get out of my own way and roll with the universe.

ot


QOTD: What's missing from your life is what you're not bringing to it.

Bl(ah)g

Sitting in Starbucks having unexpectedly created a blog; journal; would you call it a diary? (um, maybe not), I realize how long it's been since I've actively put my thoughts pen to paper or more accurately - scribe to screen. Anyway, it's more the feeling of the lack of creative writing that has inevitably vacated my fingertips since finishing school.

And despite the time that's passed, how much more independent I've become, how much more comfortable I am, it's this right here that I realize how much I've regressed. Written expression. Which I'm sure is directly proportional to my day-to-day mindset too. Like so many I think get too focused and my perspective becomes too tunnel-vision to realize there are aspects of growing and life experiences that I'm missing. So while this may be a small nudge in the direction to trying something new and changing comfort zones, let's hope this is a new start improving those sticking points we forget to work on. 


Quote of the day (QOTD): The chaos of the world is calmed one person at a time. Inner peace results in outer peace. Play your part.

peace & love.
ot