Finding perspective

A friend of mine came back from a funeral recently. Her friend had died of cancer at the age of only 27. There is never the right amount of words to explain the level of grief and sorrow people feel when they lose a friend or loved one. But I know, for the rest of us who feel helpless in trying to soothe their sadness, words are all we have. Praise is all we can give, memories are our only gifts. And attempting to wrap our heads around and make sense out of something as senseless as cancer is impossible. But whatever solace we’re able take from a disease so insidiously evil can be as enriching as it is all-consuming.

My friend told me that even despite how sad and beautiful the service was it reminded her how much her own problems are put into perspective. Immediately thoughts of family are top of mind. Right away friends and loved ones are due for phone calls. Credit card bills and unattended laundries suddenly seem banal – The real world instantly intruding our immaterial one.

It's these poignant reminders that I'm grateful for; these much needed wake-up calls. I'm reminded that the casualty of our habitual routines is forgetting the simple things of substance. Perspective becomes as elusive as a leaf in the wind. It gets lost in the anger over a loitering car in rush hour. It disappears in the pain of a crashed computer, a stood-up date, or a missed field goal late in a close game. Work is important. It is our livelihood. But the wins and losses we experience in our everyday jobs are ephemeral. They have the staying power of foam. Family matters most.

When a friend or loved one dies, there are so many regrets on so many levels. I know I don’t have the answers to all the questions in my life, and every time I think I get it, all of my insight seems to get scattered as if it were blown by a stiff breeze. But I try to remember we keep moving forward. Still laughing when we can. Still surrounding ourselves with everything that’s important to us. And I remember that the best gifts I’ve ever received are my friends and family; and knowing them has been as instructive and enriching as any experience in my life.

QOTD: “Life is sweet and delicious, but like cotton candy, it doesn’t last long so enjoy every bite”.

Peace and love,
ot